New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
