I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
