I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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