i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
barbara walters just said penis...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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