id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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