she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
