All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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