You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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