i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
