I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
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Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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