How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
