smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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