Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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