Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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