'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
