the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
