I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
