you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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