Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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