Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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