Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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