I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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