It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
