She's JV to your varsity
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You are a genius and a whore.
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