Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
