Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
