I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
