You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
