There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
