He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I supernannyed him into submission
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
