Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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