I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
