I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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