My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize