I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
