I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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