She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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