I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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