she smelled like a LAN party
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
