Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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