I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
