keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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