I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
