I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize