Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize