Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
