I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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