Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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