4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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