I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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