they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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