Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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