Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
