Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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