Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
