i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
