if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
