He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
