i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
