8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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